Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
