after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Randomize
