I want to have your abortion
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
