apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
