FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
