we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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