WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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