spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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