I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
