You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
