We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
