Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
