i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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