Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
