I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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