We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
