I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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