I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My vagina just clenched in fear
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
