The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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