Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
