I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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