jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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