At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
time to smoke my breakfast
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
