Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
there was a trapeze. enough said
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
