this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
