it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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