Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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