dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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