i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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