winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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