i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the day after is always just damage control
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
