I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
