I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He better not be in your backpack
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
