whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
