dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
