its not stalking. its research.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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