I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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