i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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