I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
where does the pee come out of this thing
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
