Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
ugly people sure do ruin things
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
