Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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