Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
