you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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