Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
