Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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