i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
