"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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