Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
