It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
