I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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